A Cornish Tale about Our L\u2019il Village by Sal Tregenna.<\/p>\n
Well, me deers, an\u2019 \u2018ow be\u2019ee doin\u2019 oe this time, I wuder? Spaikin\u2019 vur mezel\u2019 I\u2019m a mite larrancy, ez th\u2019 zayin\u2019 iz. Veelin\u2019 th\u2019 hait, terrable, I be, an\u2019 \u2018et when us gits a drap o\u2019 rain or a mite o\u2019 cloudy we\u2019ther, I\u2019m reddy to zet avore th\u2019 vire like enny ole tom-cat, iss I be! I dunno whare tiz my vancy or no, but zimmin\u2019 to me us hev \u2018ad a nashun queer mixsher o\u2019 we\u2019ther thze zummer. Th\u2019 \u2018ot hev bin blazin\u2019 \u2018ot, heb\u2019n it, an\u2019 th\u2019 coll we\u2019ther hev bin coldish. I wuz taalkin\u2019 \u2018long wi\u2019 Jim Snell \u2018bout it \u2018tother aivmen, an\u2019 ;e reckons tiz cuz I\u2019m gittin\u2019 old I veels th\u2019 changes zo mutch. \u201cYou ought to go in vur this yur ray-jew-venashun traitment, Missus,\u201d zes \u2018e. \u201cThey can put monkey glands into \u2018ee, now, an\u2019 make ole vokes young again.\u201d \u201cIss, an\u2019 you\u2019m welcum to try it, vur me, James!\u201d zes I. \u201cI got monkeys \u2018nuff to dail wi\u2019 now, wi\u2019out hevin\u2019 mezel\u2019 terned into one,\u201d \u201cZ ame yur!\u201d chimes in Ann. \u201cI declare enny wummin might \u2018s\u2019well be a monkey kipper in th\u2019 zoo, ez be conzerned wi\u2019 Jim! Zee wot a dance \u2018e\u2019ve a\u2019luaid me theze las\u2019 blessed week!\u201d \u201cA, doant\u2019ee go an\u2019 rake all thikky tale up again, Ann!\u201d snaps Jim, lookin\u2019 ez vulish ez a wagon-hoss. \u201cWhare\u2019s Maister, too?\u201d \u2018e axed, changin\u2019 th\u2019 subhiek quick, like! \u201cAw\u2019 \u2018e\u2019s out in garden digging\u2019 zum teddies, I b\u2019leeve,\u201d zes I, an\u2019 off goes Jim out to garden to hev a yarn \u2018long wi\u2019 Vather.
\nANN TELLS TH\u2019 TALE!
\nCoarse. Zoon\u2019s \u2018e wuz gone I axed Ann wot \u2018e\u2019d a\u2019bin up to. I tellee, me\u2019 deers tiz a gude plan vur we married wimmin to get together once \u2018pon a time to talk over our trubbles, idden it? Pore ole Ann, \u2018er\u2019d \u2018ad a vine ole caper wi\u2019 Jim sure nuff, an\u2019 \u2018er wuz veelin\u2019 a mite zore over\u2019t, too. But be th\u2019 time \u2018er\u2019d a\u2019vinished tellin\u2019 me th\u2019 taale, an\u2019 I\u2019d \u2018ad a gude ole laff over\u2019t , well, Ann begun to zee th\u2019 Vunny zide o\u2019t, too, an\u2019 it cleared th\u2019 air between \u2018er an\u2019 Jim, I\u2019m sure it did. Jim\u2019s case, me deers, I\u2019m gittin\u2019 old, an\u2019 I\u2019ve allus vound it does \u2018ee a power o\u2019 gude to onburden yerzel\u2019 when you veels you got a grievance. Th\u2019 more you kips \u2018em to yerzel\u2019 an\u2019 nurses \u2018em up th\u2019 bigger they grawz! \u201cWell,\u201d zes Ann, \u201cyou knaw wot Jim iz \u2018e\u2019s allus out vur \u2018catches,\u2019 ez \u2018e calls \u2018em, an\u2019 \u2018e\u2019s never \u2018appier than when \u2018e can come \u2018ome wi\u2019 \u2018is vrail an\u2019 pockets tinged vull o\u2019 odds an\u2019 ainds wot \u2018e\u2019ve picked up on th\u2019 roun\u2019s. Nobody knaws wot a\u2019 dance e\u2019 do laid me one time an\u2019 anether. Every time I goes to th\u2019 cupboard to take out a glass dish, I\u2019ll bet me life I shall vend \u2018em vull up wi\u2019 a vew speshal teddies vur zaid, or pays, or banes, or zum zitch thing, Once I even vound me bes\u2019 junket bowl vull o\u2019 zum zoart o\u2019 manure! Las\u2019 week, e\u2019 begun Wensday be bringin\u2019 \u2018ome two rabburts wot zumbody \u2018ad catched in th\u2019 corn. Well, I put \u2018em into a pie Thersday mornin\u2019, thinkin\u2019 to hev\u2019n cold when Jim got \u2018ome in th\u2019 aivmen. Tiz a big roun\u2019 Thersdays, out to moors an\u2019 all, an tiz allus pas\u2019 nine avore \u2018e gits back. Well, I \u2018ad th\u2019 zupper all \u2018pon th\u2019 table when \u2018e cum \u2018ome, an\u2019 I put th\u2019 tay to zawk zoons I yurd\u2019n cum in th\u2019 gate. I thort I zeed a bag \u2018pon \u2018is back ez \u2018e passed th\u2019 winder, but I dedden pay mutch \u2018tenshun to\u2019t. Enny way, \u2018e cum in, an\u2019 whiles \u2018e wuz hevin\u2019 a waash ou in the back-houze, I cut out th\u2019 pie, an empted up th\u2019 tay. When \u2018e cum in \u2018e zed \u201cWot\u2019s vur zupper Ann?\u201d \u201cRabburt pie,\u201d zes I. \u201cI bant gain ait it!\u201d zes \u2018e glazin\u2019 to me wild\u2019s a bloomin\u2019 \u2018awk! \u201cRabburts! Rabburts! Rabburts! Tha\u2019s a\u2019 I\u2019ve \u2018ad all day, an\u2019 I\u2019m danged if I\u2019ll ait rubburt vur zupper, too!\u201d \u00a0Coarse, I dedden knaw wot \u2018e mained, an\u2019 I axed\u2019n wot in th\u2019 diggens \u2018e wuz chowin\u2019 \u2018bout.
\n\u201cGo out in back-houze!\u201d zes \u2018e, \u201can\u2019 hev a look in thikky bag out there!\u201d \u00a0Zo I lights th\u2019 candel, an out I goes. An\u2019 I\u2019ll warn you if e\u2019 \u2018ad one rabburt in thikky bag, \u2018e \u2018ad a score! \u2018Arvest rabburts, all o\u2019 \u2018em, an\u2019 zum o\u2019 \u2018em wuz tored to rags, an\u2019 very near cum to life again! Deden I jaw\u2019n, tha\u2019s all! Zame\u2019s I tould\u2019n, vokes would\u2019n hev gi\u2019ed\u2019n zitch ole rubbitch if they dedden knaw wot an ole vule \u2018e iz. But \u2018e zed \u2018e tooked em all cuz \u2018e dedden like to zay \u2018NO\u2019 veer \u2018e\u2019d put enn\u2019ybody out. Bezides \u2018e zed, if you zay \u2018No\u2019 to one thing you never gits nort more offered to\u2019ee, an\u2019 you might miss a raft gude catch! I tould\u2019n \u2018e \u2018ad to carr\u2019 \u2018em out an\u2019 berry \u2018em, but \u2018e zed \u2018e\u2019d \u2018ad the\u2019r company \u2018long enuff an\u2019 \u2018e wadden gain \u00a0to do nort more to \u2018em thikky night. Zo in th\u2019 aind I \u2018ad to take th\u2019 showel an\u2019 lantern an\u2019 go out an\u2019 berry \u2018em. Like I zed, I could\u2019n slaip a wink wi\u2019 that lot onder th\u2019 roof. An\u2019 then I ad\u2019n got no stummicck left vur rabburt pie, nother, an\u2019 in th\u2019 aind th\u2019 pie waint out to th\u2019 dog! \u2018E wuz all \u2018o a vidget an\u2019 twinkle, an\u2019 twadden long avore \u2018e tooked th \u2018candel an\u2019 waint over steers. I bide down an\u2019 put away th\u2019 zupper things an\u2019 then I waint up too. When I got up, there wuz Jim vixed up wi\u2019 my dressin\u2019 gown on, an\u2019 a vine zight \u2018e wuz lokkin\u2019. \u201cWhare\u2019s me clain cloas, Ann?\u201d zes \u2018e, lookin\u2019 like a cheel catched stailin\u2019 th\u2019 jam. \u201cWot in th\u2019 wurld do\u2019ee want ver clain cloas vur now, middle o\u2019 th\u2019 week,\u201d zes I. \u201cTwull be baistly agane \u2018ginst Zenday.\u201d I got to hev it.\u201d Zes \u2018e, an\u2019 I zeed a wild look in th\u2019 heye o\u2019n! Well, I waint to flasket an\u2019 got \u2018is clain change yur\u2019n, an\u2019 \u2018e put it on. Arter us wuz in baid I zed \u201cWot ded\u2019ee do wi\u2019 yer baisly cloas, Jim?\u201d \u201cChucked it out o\u2019 winder!\u201d zes \u2018e. \u201cWot in th; diggens vur?\u201d I axed. \u201cThere wuz flays in it!\u201d zes \u2018e. \u201cRabburts\u2019 vlays! An\u2019 the beggars doant ha\u2019f nab nother! I catched tain \u2018e em in me trowzers! I reckon you\u2019ll hev to waash it all in Jeys.\u201d \u201cWell, James,\u201d I zed, \u201cI should \u2018ope you\u2019ve larned a lesson! A vine ole catch o\u2019t you\u2019ve \u2018ad today, heb\u2019n \u2018ee? An\u2019 I hopes you notiss that tiz me wot gits th\u2019 baistly aind o\u2019 th\u2019 steck every time. I\u2019ve \u2018ad to berry th\u2019 rabburts, an\u2019 now I got to waash yer cloas.\u201d
\nANETHER CATCH!
\n\u201cNex\u2019 aivmen I wuz out pickin\u2019 in his cloas when \u2018e cum \u2018ome, an\u2019 I zeed that \u2018e\u2019d a\u2019got a bag \u2018pon\u2019 \u2018is back agane. \u2018E wuz beamin\u2019 all over \u2018is vaace, an\u2019 when I cum in \u2018e zed \u201cLooky yur, Ann, I got a bedder catch today!\u201d I waint an\u2019 looked in th\u2019 bag, an\u2019 lo an\u2019 be\u2019old twuz apples.
\n\u201cVarmer Crabb gi\u2019ed me they.\u201d Zes \u2018e \u201cE tells me they\u2019ve \u2018ad a reglar plague \u2018o\u2019 wopses out ther, an\u2019 they bin aitin\u2019 th\u2019 apples off th\u2019 trees. Theze be sweet ones, an\u2019 \u2018e picked in all there wuz left, an\u2019 gi\u2019ed me theze to ait.\u201d I tould\u2019n to put \u2018em down deery, an\u2019 I dedden go near \u2018em till nex\u2019 day. Then arter denner I thort I\u2019d like a apple, an\u2019 I waint down an picked out one. My dear, I might \u2018s\u2019well hev bin stinged to de\u2019th, vur zackly\u2019s I wuz gain put thikky apple in me mouth, I notissed a \u2018ole in un, an\u2019 when I waint to cut it out I vound \u2018e wuz nort but a shell an\u2019 \u2018e wuz chuck vull o\u2019 wopses! An\u2019 th\u2019 bigges\u2019 ha\u2019f o\u2019 they apples wuz th\u2019 zame! I dedden knaw wot to do, vur there wuz a crowd o\u2019 \u2018em cum out when thet vound th\u2019 bag wuz opened, an\u2019 a purty ole chase I\u2019ad catchin\u2019 wopses. In th\u2019 aind I tied th\u2019 bag up, an\u2019 put\u2019n in a big pail, an\u2019 empted boilin\u2019 wadder auver\u2019n. Zo that wuz anether o\u2019 Jim\u2019s gurt catches! Nort but a passen o\u2019 trubble, like everything else \u2018e brings \u2018ome.\u201d \u201cWell never mind, Ann!\u201d zes I, arter we\u2019d \u2018ad a gude laff. \u201cLe\u2019s hev a dish o\u2019 tay, an drown all our trubbles in th\u2019 taypot!\u201d No zooner \u2018ad I emptied out tay than in cums Vather an\u2019 Jim Snell. Like I zed to Ann, they zoon smilled th\u2019 tay pot. An\u2019 th\u2019 vurst wurds Jim Snell zed when \u2018e cum in, wuz, \u201cAnn, hev\u2019ee got yer vrail \u2018lone wi\u2019 \u2018ee? I got a vew o\u2019 Maister\u2019s shallots yur, I\u2019m gain zave vyr zaid.\u201d
\nZo you zee Jim\u2019s still \u2018pon th\u2019 \u2018catch.\u2019<\/p>\n
Visits: 227<\/p>\n
A Cornish Tale about Our L\u2019il Village by Sal Tregenna. Well, me deers, an\u2019 \u2018ow be\u2019ee doin\u2019 oe this time, I wuder? Spaikin\u2019 vur mezel\u2019 I\u2019m a mite larrancy, ez th\u2019 zayin\u2019 iz. Veelin\u2019 th\u2019 hait, terrable, I be, an\u2019 \u2018et when us gits a drap o\u2019 rain or a mite o\u2019 cloudy we\u2019ther, I\u2019m […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":1020,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1048","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/launcestonthen.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1048","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/launcestonthen.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/launcestonthen.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/launcestonthen.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/launcestonthen.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1048"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/launcestonthen.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1048\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1050,"href":"https:\/\/launcestonthen.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1048\/revisions\/1050"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/launcestonthen.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1020"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/launcestonthen.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1048"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}